Retracing My Steps: Memories That Shaped Who I Am

I always think it's good to look at the past to learn and take what's good for me."

Sometimes, I wonder why things turn out a certain way, and I believe there were some things I did unintentionally that I need to appreciate now.

As a child growing up in a remote island, I looked up to someone from a larger island.

Growing up in a small island in Indonesia, I did not have access to cinemas, fast food, or reliable electricity. Despite these limitations, my childhood was wonderful, I spent most of my time playing outside, riding bicycles with friends, and embarking on new adventures. I learned how to explore, observe animals, and climb trees. Additionally, I developed a love for reading and listening to music, often spending my evenings doing so on our home balcony under the stars.

While it may have been good for my childhood, it also presented challenges. When I was exposed to the world outside my island, I felt insecure because I did not know as much as others did. I remember wondering if the people on TV were real but meeting them in person seemed impossible because they were so far away. I also fell in love with Japan through the anime and comics I watched and read. Still, I thought visiting Japan was out of reach because my family and friends rarely travelled overseas and had limited financial resources.

My perspective changed when I gained access to the internet (with a limited usage of 15 hours per month; my home was one of the first houses to be connected). By connecting to the outside world through the internet, I found myself admiring a professor from Waseda University and Empress Masako. Their stories inspired me greatly because they are both high-achieving individuals. Fortunately, I enjoyed reading biographies and English back then. I even sent them postcards to express my appreciation for how they had positively influenced my thinking. Although I never expected anything in return, I still wanted to show my gratitude and let them know how much they had impacted me.

A teenager who lives abroad alone - don’t ask questions; figure out the answers yourself first.

I convinced my family to let me study abroad in China due to my love for Japan (they’re nearby haha). However, as a teenager living abroad, I had no one to guide me through the journey. This experience made me realize the importance of finding the right resources to guide me, as my parents could not always be with me 24/7. In China,

Because of my limited Chinese language, I learned to make decisions and adapt by observing others indirectly."

I read books, watched documentaries (and sometimes anime), took Coursera courses, and mimicked others' behaviour to adjust to new environments, cultures, and people. While mimicking others' behavior is an easy way to learn, it is important to choose the right people to mimic. This is why it is crucial to surround yourself with the right circle of people.

Me vs Me

Growing up, I have learned that to grow, it is necessary to try new things and explore different perspectives. I believe it is vital to set goals that challenge me and compete with myself."

For example, one goal could be to read a book that I would not typically choose, try to lose weight (haha), and pick up a new hobby.

Having healthy competition with myself helps me to avoid being jealous or competing with others. I always feel like I want to be better because of myself, and others inspire me to see how far I can progress or achieve. This mindset helps me encourage others to become their best selves and show me what they can accomplish.